What started off as a joke became something I was serious about. I was at brunch with a friend who brought up the idea of rebranding. We laughed at the idea but both agreed that September would be our “rebrand“ month… this was back in June. I didn’t put much thought into it that day, but as the months went on, I began to take rebranding into consideration. Now I know “rebrand” probably isn’t the best word to describe the transformation I was considering, but I like the word and agreed to stick with it. I had another friend who suggested that “reflection” was a better word, which I also liked. I then suggested that “rebirth” was even better. Whichever word I used, I knew it was going to lead to me screaming “New Year, new me” in September.
I realized that September is always a month of heavy transformation for me. Last year was a huge transformation period. Not to go into details, but it was triggered by a failed dating stage (lol I know). I had to take a step back to really see where everything went left and that’s when the transformation/reflection began. Dating is very interesting and you learn A LOT about yourself when dealing with another person. It may sound weird but it’s true. For some people (maybe even everyone) you learn more about the things you like and don’t like, the things you will and will not put up with. Sometimes you may learn about what measures you would go to for someone, some learn more about boundaries and others might learn to reinforce them, the list is endless. Well last year I learned a whole lot about myself during the dating process.
This year’s transformation was triggered by a lot of things. I wouldn’t say that it is due to another failed talking stage (thank God), but more so of how I’ve been showing up for myself, especially in my relationships: platonically and romantically. I realized that I’m a good friend, but I can be better. I can be a good lover, but sometimes I make conscious decisions not to be.
My career also led to this rebirth. I’m officially self-employed (which I discussed in a previous post) and it has been an eye-opening experience, a good one though. I want this month to be the month where I really push myself creatively. I have to step outside my comfort zone and really push myself to put myself out there.
A lot of my past behaviors and ways of thinking has also triggered this rebirth. I realized that I get in my own way 95% of the time. I’m in my head A LOT, more than I’m physically present. It’s a good and bad thing.
Overall, there has been a lot of things that led me to this rebrand/rebirth. I explained to a few friends that this is a time for me to really change a few things, or at least take the time to actively work on them. I then realized that I work on these things daily: I write my daily affirmations, I journal, I meditate (although I’ve been slacking on this one), I’m doing the shadow work. I’m actively learning to let go of the things, ways of thinking and behaviors that no longer serve me. I just have to be more patient because this is a journey. The healing journey is a JOURNEY. It might take years for me to get to where I would like to be but as long as I get there, that’s all that matters. So. here’s to the month of rebranding, with a dash of reflecting and rebirthing.
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