I took another week-long vacation to St. Maarten for the second time this year. I really love that place. My first time there back in August, we extended our stay for one day, which turned into two due to our flight being delayed. We met a group of friends there that made sure our stay on their island was worth it. They cooked for us, showed us around the island, and partied with us. At the end of our trip, they felt like family. We even stayed in contact up until our recent visit.
My one sister was not able to come with us on the trip so we promised to go back for her birthday. This time around, we did more excursions, drank way more, partied more and ate more. We introduced her to our friends and just like us, she loved them.
Each day out there, I found the beauty in something different, whether it was in a lot full of butterflies, or the fishes swimming around me in the ocean. I really appreciated the simplicity of the island and talking to our friends made me appreciate it even more. They loved their island and the freeness that came along with it. It low-key made me wish I felt the same way about where I'm from. When asked about their views on the U.S., their responses were the same: too many rules and restrictions that they could never live with. Everything in St. Maarten just flowed. It seemed like there was nothing to worry about. EVER. Which I know is not the case.
I considered moving to St. Maarten each day I was out there, but what is new? That's my response to every place I vacation to. I didn't realize until I got home that as of recently, I've been using vacations to escape from my reality. Escapism is the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy. I felt so inspired after realizing that this is a coping mechanism of mine, that I wrote a poem. After researching, I found that escapism is not necessarily a bad thing, but can be unhealthy in the long run. Everyone needs to detach from their everyday life every once in a while. There's so much going on and everyone is dealing with something, whether it's big or small. Being able to take a break to just breathe is healthy and needed. It only becomes an issue when you realize that you are avoiding things in your everyday life. Instead of dealing with the issues, you choose to run from them.
I feel like I do both. I pick and choose when I want to deal with something, which I know most people can relate to. I'm still working on actually communicating when something is off instead of avoiding it, but most of the times, I choose to avoid it. I'll write, paint, go out to eat, sleep, anything to take my mind off of what's really going on. Like I said before, this has been an eventful year, and I touched on it in previous posts. I have not wanted to deal with anything actually. I rather just book a flight and forget about my worries until it's time to go back home. Don't get me wrong, I honestly can't complain about anything, but sometimes I need a break. These past few months have been an adjustment: quitting my job and transitioning into a full-time makeup artist, running a non-profit, and brainstorming new business ventures. What keeps me going is knowing that God has a plan for me, that I was put here to do so much more, to be so much more. I also try to keep in mind that what God has planned for me is even bigger than what I have left behind.
Now that I'm aware of what I'm doing and what's going on, I can work on it. It's all about being more present and aware of my actions and taking the necessary steps to make better decisions.
Comentários